So. Just a small thing. We are moving to the Philippines…!!!! And, we will likely be there for 6 months to a year.
I don’t know that I have ever oscillated between so many conflicting emotions in my life. Excitement. Fear. Nervousness. Stress. Worry. FOMO (aka Fear of missing out). Joy. Disbelief. Gratitude. Apprehension. More excitement. Incredulity. Sadness. A little more fear. A bunch more stress. And back again.
This is completely uncharted/unknown territory for us. We have lived in Provo, Utah for our entire 7 year marriage, except for a summer internship in the Bay Area. And then suddenly we are moving to the other side of the world!!
It is so funny how quickly things can change. The night before we got the phone call that would send us on this crazy adventure, Jonathan and I were bemoaning the fact that we just felt stuck. We were gonna be here, in this two bedroom apartment (with three kids) forever. Jobs and apartments and stages of life would never, ever change. And we were struggling with that. Every time we have tried to move on to the next stage, it just hasn’t been the right thing. And we had no idea when or how it would change.
We also discussed dreams. And whether we even have the right to dream for more than we already have. Because we are already so incredibly blessed. There is so much suffering in the world. And there are so many people who would feel like kings if they had what we have. So with all that in mind, is it ok to dream and hope for more? Or is that selfish and ungrateful and entitled?
I have always loved the idea of going and living somewhere crazy and interesting. But, I was resigned to the fact that it probably wouldn’t happen. And I was ok with that. But, it was still something I quietly thought about and dreamt about.
And then suddenly this unspoken dream of mine was a reality. (I’m still pinching myself, it doesn’t feel real.) I feel humbled and awed. It is a reminder to me that I am known to God as an individual. It is truly unbelievable to me that with everything that is going on in the world, that He knows my heart and my desires. And, even more amazing, is the fact that they are all important to Him, as trivial as they may be. He is not just concerned with our growth and long-term happiness, but also our dreams.
